.. almost the big day..

Yup, that's right. It's almost my birthday. Every year I get more and more freaked out about turning a year older. 22.. wow. I still remember my 12th birthday like it was yesterday.. scary. That means tomorrow I'll be turning 32! Ouch..

I'm back to the rents again. They of course wanted me to come home for my birthday. I reckon we're all going out to celebrate tomorrow. Unfortunately daddy will be living in Illinois for the next month or so. =( Bob is sending him out there AGAIN to fire people and chew some asses. He gets a 10,000 bonus or something sooo. Let's just hope Bob isn't prep'n him for a permanent move. Momma will be soooo pissed if diddy moves her again. Plus, I dunno what in the hell I'll end up doing. Ah well.. cross that bridge if and when we get to it. The sad news about all of this is he is leaving early early monday morning.. so I won't get to see him but for a second on my birthday. Just for him to tell me goodbye. This reminds me of a few years ago. When my parents moved from Alabama to Pennsylvania they left the day before my 14th birthday. So I woke up to an empty house. Apparently Bob has a thing for July 31.. GRRR!

So I've decided to sell the soft top to my jeep. I never use it and it is just sitting out in the building behind my parents house. Some guys that work for my dad want it so i figured what the heck. I protested a lil when the idea was brought up but it really does make sense to just do away with it. Momma said if I ever wanted another one down the road that we'd just get a new one. It's just right now I don't want to be living where I do with a soft top so I keep the hard top on it. Plus, I prefer hard tops over the soft ones. I dunno.. it's extra money!! Ruehl, Abercrombie.. here I come!! ;-)

Really nothing else is new. I cooked lasagna for the family yesterday and I'm about done with the americana quilt I've been making for momma ( my fingers are killin me !) Oh, and I have another kidney stone! We went fourwheeling out at 7 creeks yesterday and I came home and had a major attack. I took some Vicodin and I sorta remember trying to play trivial pursuit with the family. I must have been pretty loopy b/c the next thing I remember is waking up this morning. My sides hurt a lil today but nothing major. I've sorta just been sittin on my wonderful king sized bed watching the wonderful 52. in tv ( or is it 72.. I dunno.. its just huge and sooo much better than my small ass tvs in my apt! ) that is in my wonderful bedroom at my parents... I seriously may never go home.. seriously! But the time is fastly approaching when I'll be crammed up in my apartment studying all day every day.. BLAH.

Anyways.. can't really think of much else. So.. bye for now!

bbbaaahhhhh <-- that's my sheep call

This whole sleep during the day/stay awake all night ordeal is really getting to me. Thankfully I'll be seeing the doc this week!! Maybe some Ambien will do the trick..

Anyways, it's 3 am and I'm bored... so I decided to fill out Kristin's survey. It should at least take up the next 5 minutes of my time.. hah!

Best

1. Male friend: .. oh gosh .. I have a lot of great male friends.. no way I could choose!

2. Female friend: Venus

3. Vacation: Probably way back in high school with my best friend Beth... orange beach.

Worst

1. Time of day: if it's before noon and I have to be somewhere.. it's a horrible time of day!

2. Day of the Week: .. during school .. MONDAYS .. knowing a LONG week is ahead!

3. Food: FISH .. AMEN Kristin

4. Memory: Having to put my 18 y/o dog Charlotte to sleep..

Last

1. Person you saw: my neighbor

2. Talked to on the phone: my momma

3. Text: Matt Evans

4. IMed: Tom Grant

5. Messaged over myspace: Eric Perry

Today

1. What are you doing now: .. waiting for Rhett to wear himself out! He's chasing his butt!

2. Wearing: Ohio State pjs..

3. Better than yesterday: sure

4. Is: Monday - July 24

5. Got any plans: as of right now? not really. I have to go to the post office and to the pharmacy. Other than that.. who knows where I'll end up!

6. Dislikes about tomorrow: none except it's one day closer to my birthday which means I'm gonna be OLD in a week!

Favorite

1. Number: 34

2. Song: Sweet Avenue - Jets to Brazil

3. Color: PINK

4. Season: Winter... I'll take cold over hot any day!

Currently

1. Missing someone: Charlotte..

2. Mood: a lil cranky

3. Wanting: to be home with my family..

True or False

I am a cuddler: eh.. it depends

I am a morning person: Absolutely NOT

I am a perfectionist: Most of the time.. yes.

I am an only child: No.. older sis Venus and an even older step-bro David

I am currently in my pajamas: Yup

I am currently single: Yes.. the story of my life

I am currently suffering from a broken heart: Yes, my puppy died.

I am addicted to myspace: yes.. it is beginning to interfere with what lil life I have! ;-)

I am very shy around the opposite gender: Pshh.. it'd do me some good to be a lil more shy!

I can be paranoid at times: Yah.. especially over microbes

I currently regret something that I have done: Yes

When I get mad, I curse frequently: Yes

I enjoy country music: Not so much

I enjoy jazz music: Not really

I love smoothies: yum

I enjoy talking on the phone: only to certain people..

I have a crush: Nah.. they all come and go pretty quickly

I have a hard time paying attention at school: YES... when I'm actually there ;-)

I have a hidden talent: .. not sure

I have a secret that I am scared to reveal: yes

I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy: Yup

I have all my grandparents: Well, both of my mom's parents are still alive.. both of my real dad's parents recently passed.. and this is where it gets complicated.. my dad's mom is still alive but his step-dad died and his dad and step mom are both alive. On top of that.. I still have GREAT GREAT grandparents living!!

I have at least one brother and/or sister: 1 sister and 1 step bro

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor: .. no but I can hear ppl thinking it ;-)

I have broken a bone: Yes.. my NOSE.. thanks venus!!!

I have changed a diaper: true.. but its been about 10 years!

I have changed a lot over the past year: .. sure

I have done something illegal: Yeah, and I've gone to jail for it!

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: ha, yeah...

I have had major/minor surgery: yah.. had kidney stones removed.. and of course oral surgery!

I have had my hair cut within the last 2 months: no.. but I NEED to. I'm thinking about cuttin it all off!

I have had the cops called on me: yeah.. damn it!


Rhett is officially out cold! I can lie down now!

Small minds = easily entertained

So what exactly does the Turner/Blackburn/Jenkins family do for fun? I mean, there has to be a reason I go home so often, right?

We play in mud! :-D Talk about good times!! I may have left Alabama y'all but fortunately OHIO has mud too!!! Yay!

... and then we tease trinket about her huge balls!! As you can see... she is a tad self-conscious! ;-)


So I DID manage to rinse off the mud and come back to Columbus for a few days. Only to pay my rent and meet with the Goss's about the job. After I'm all finished up I'll head back home for some more country outtings. I did need to face being in the apartment without Charlotte. It's really difficult but I'm hanging in there.

Anyways, I need to get going. I just wanted to check in and tell everyone how much I appreciate their support over the last couple of weeks. I've had so many calls/txts/msgs asking how Im holding up and how sorry everyone is. I know y'all have to be tired of hearing about my recent loss and I'm so sorry. Thankfully I have sooooo many great people in my life and even if they want to tell me to shutup with my whining they offer their sympathy instead. I love y'all! Thank you so much.. it means more than you know. =) And, thank you from Char-char. I know she'd wanna give you all a big wet kiss if she were around!

I haven't posted since before I left from Columbus and for good reason. I've been VERY upset about my dog and haven't really felt up to any type of communication. Hence my lack of posts and returned calls. However, I am feeling a very tiny bit better. So here I am.

So I did manage to do the right thing and put Charlotte to sleep. The drive to my parents was horrible, the constant thinking about putting her down was horrible, the call to setup an appointment was horrible, sleeping next to her knowing what time her final hour would be was horrible, the drive to my sister's and then to the vet clinic was horrible, the final kiss goodbye was horrible, watching her leave my sight for good was horrible, the fight I had with myself for wanting to run in and save her was horrible, the sight of the box she was lying lifeless in throughout the ride home was horrible, the fact that it was raining and we couldn't bury her for three days was horrible, knowing that she was downstairs frozen while I was up in my bed was horrible, the thought of her buried in the back yard so far away from me is horrible, and finally .. the thought of spending the next hour, day, week, month, year and rest of my life without her is killing me. =( I keep replaying the whole thing in my head. I told my mother that I need to see a hypnotist. I can't sleep and I'm in depression. My mother will be out of town tomorrow b/c she is off to see a friend of hers so I'm house/pet sitting. Then on Wed. we are going to the doctor's office to talk about my inability to sleep. My nights are filled with endless tossing and turning which usually dies down at around 9 am.. when I finally manage to get a couple hrs of sleep. Hopefully we'll get it all ironed out and I'll get back on track soon.

So obviously I didn't go to the beach with Scott. I wanted to.. gosh, I could have really used the time away and of course I'd get to spend a lot of time with him.. but given the whole situation and the fact that I wanted to be here when Charlotte was buried .. I just couldn't go. I haven't heard from him so I don't know if he is upset or not. I really can't say that I'd blame him if he were. Not too many people can relate to my situation. I didn't want to put him through my depression.. and I KNOW I would have been crying hysterically the majority of the time.

Anyways, it IS true that things are a LITTLE better. I've managed to get some food in me and I told Venus that we would go to a movie tomorrow. You, me, and dupree.. if one person could cheer me up it would have to be Owen Wilson. Ok, maybe Ryan Reynolds too ;-) Ill probably just be getting to sleep during the first showing so we probably won't go until tomorrow evening. I'm sure we'll have a good time.

So I WILL be returning calls tomorrow .. Kristin and her bro Tony.. Matt.. Keith.. Sean F..Ivan to name a few. I don't have any cell service out here so I keep missing everyone's calls and txt msgs. I also don't have AIM on this computer so I haven't been signed on there either. Then my cell phone died and the only charger I have with me is in my car. I was too lazy to go out there to charge it enough to get everyone's #s.. sooo.. =D Be patient everyone.. y'all know I'm a slacker ;-)

I haven't really been doing much out here. I went furniture shopping with momma and diddy. Must be nice to just randomly feel like stopping by the furniture store and spend 4000 on random furniture that isn't necessary. I talked them out of the matress though.. I told them IF they were determined to buy a mattress that I was in the market for a new one. THEN I took them by the office chairs and pointed out which one of those I wanted. I tested about 10 and of course I liked the most expensive one... go figure! Then we went out to eat. Mmmm it was soooo tasty. And I brought Rhett some steak home.. which he loved. =) Other than that I've just been enjoying the fabulous food, scenery, and company. The lil kitten is SOOO adorable.. I'll be sure to get a pic of him on here. Momma is letting me name him. Afterall, I did name his daddy.. Armani =) I'll let everyone know what I decide!!

Anyways, I think that about sums everything up. I don't know when I'll be returning to Columbus. I get spoiled here with the parents so I'm thinkin I'll be here for a while longer!!
Talk to everyone soon... =)

RIP Charlotte.. I love you =**(

So Charlotte gets euthanized tomorrow morning. I'm seriously an emotional wreck. I've been layin in bed with her all night.. holding her. =( I don't know how I am going to go through with this. Not to mention I have to drive her all the way to mommas.. thinking about it the entire 2.5 hrs that I'm driving... looking at her while shes thinking shes just taking another trip to my parents and thinking she'll return home again. I just dont know if I can actually go with my mom to the vet to put her down... I just don't know...

Have you seen Thursday?

Seriously, I do not even remember Thursday happening! I know what I was doing on Thursday but I wasn't aware that it was Thursday at the time! I'm talking to my momma today and she tells me that tomorrow my a/c won't be fixed b/c it's SUNDAY. I'm like.. NO MOM! It's Saturday they can fix it! After arguing forever I looked at the date/time on my pc. I was so completely freaked out b/c I seriously thought today was friday. I mean.. sure.. sometimes this happens. I will think its a tues when its a mon or something like that. But it usually makes sense when I think back! Seriously.. not this time. I'm absolutely amazed at myself. I misplaced Thursday. How in the hell does that happen?

So needless to say I lost one of my weekend nights! The crazy thing is everyone was asking me to do stuff yesterday and I'm like WTF is the urgency on a THURSDAY night? My ass was cleaning my apartment on a FRIDAY w/o knowing it!

So anyways.. my a/c is broken again. 3rd time in two weeks. Grrr... I don't even want to think about it.

I think a certain someone is upset w/me. I'm not completely sure but for some reason its really gettin' to me. I'm not even sure why I care! I should really just forget about it.

Monday should be interesting. I have to go get wedding pictures from my aunt olline. Mom is making me.. grr! Don't get me wrong.. I love my aunt/uncle but you can only handle so much of them. She repeats stories over and over and over again and I'm sure shes gonna gossip about the ENTIRE blackburn side of the family. She doesn't know I'm changing my name. When she finds that out ..Lord help us all! She wants to take me out to eat.. and bring a guy friend. So.. I considered going alone b/c I didn't want to put anyone through that. Then I started thinking about how I didnt want to go through it by myself and how I want someone there with me.. so I asked Scott. He said yes..thankfully. Bless his heart.. he may never talk to me again afterwards! I always feel SO guilty when I go see them b/c of the whole agnostic thing ( my uncle is a pastor ). I don't really LIE about being agnostic. I just go along with their assumptions! I'm sure we'll have to sit in their den before we go out to eat. They have about 50 statues of jesus in this room which means I have about 100 eyes of jesus making me feel like i'm the antichrist..

Anyways... that's enough.. I'm totally rambling!

It's called sampling my friends!

No big news. I hung out with Scott for awhile tonight. He showed me his 'magic shoes'. Something about a microchip, running, and mp3s. Then I decided to come home early and let him go get a bite to eat. He's probably thinking I'm with some other guy right now.. seems he thinks I'm a player. Ok.. maybe sometimes I goof around and say I'm a player.. but really I'm not. I mean.. I "hangout" with a few guys every now and again only b/c I seem to get along better with guys. It's not like I "date" more than one guy at a time.. ok, maybe sometimes TWO guys but I make it pretty clear to whoever I'm seeing that we're not committed. I mean.. in the end we're all looking for that one person that we're willing to put up with for the rest of our lives. With that being said, I like to think of myself as a sampler not a player. I mean... there are A LOT of potentials and very little time. I don't plan on settling down..but I plan on someone making me. I need someone relentless..

So I talked to Brian tonight. It sure has been awhile. He gets his new hottie car in like a week. I think that's what he said anyways. The whole "misunderstanding" a while back sorta made us lose contact. I don't take full blame though.. everyone that hungout with us said that they thought he liked me.. and in an effort to not lead him on I backed off. I'm just glad it's all sorted out now though! Now we can go on hanging out.. and HOPEFULLY take a road trip to see Kristin sometime in the future!

Anyways.. Rhett and Char need to go out!!

Awww..

I just found a picture of Tolkien when he was a kitten... it's gonna make me cry!

Initiative

So I've finally taken the initiative to find a J O B. I've found two potentials. One is a receptionist job and the other is babysitting. The babysitting job wouldnt begin until Sept. but the pay is great. He's checking out my references and then we'll set up an interview. The other is.. eh.. doable. The money isnt that great but I suppose you'll have that with these meaningless jobs. Basically 250 a week. How does anyone live off that? Yeesh! With money like that I'd have to find twenty jobs this summer just to pay for my living expenses. Well.. living/shopping expenses! And let's face it.. I don't really care THAT much! Working sucks ass.. and believe it or not.. this spoiled lil belle has had several jobs in her lifetime. None of which I've enjoyed! I just really don't see the point of getting a job for the next two months. I mean.. how much would I actually make? Not a lot. I'd rather have a job that I could hold during school. That's why the babysitting job would be perfect. Only 15 hrs a week.. 3:30-6:30 M-F. Of course.. it entails A LOT of running these lil kids here and there but I think I could handle it!
Anyways.. just thought I'd post about that.

Happy 4th.. almost!

So I just took a break from packing. "Tony Rill" showed up on caller ID and I ended up chatting about nothing really to some drunk guy.. possibly named Joe. I dunno. It's difficult gettin' off the phone with intoxicated beings..

So I basically slept all day. I feel a little bad about it and I'm wide awake at 2:20 am so that's not good. I can't wait til tomorrow. I was actually suppose to do the whole red, white and boom here in Columbus but momma called today and asked me to come home. Even though I already made plans.. I told her I'd love to. Afterall, WHO tells their MOMMA no? Not I! So tomorrow I'll have to cancel plans at the last minute which sucks. Most people are use to it so I'm sure it'll be no big deal.

My a/c broke, AGAIN. I called them today and they asked me if I could possibly wait til tomorrow to have it fixed b/c it costs 200 bucks an hour for sunday service. I'm nice.. I said sure. So I probably won't be there when they fix it. I planned to leave around 11.. so we'll see.

So I got to see Sean F lastnight. Yay. We actually slept in til 1 today!! We were such bums. We laughed our asses off about nubs.. it was great. I sure am gonna miss that silly boy =( I won't get to see him again until he comes home right before he leaves for Iraq. I think that is in Sept!!! Yuck!!

So get this! Someone from my neck of the woods is at OHIO STATE. Actually, this girl went to my rival school from back home! I actually went to that school in 3rd grade ;-) shh! We won't tell the HUB ppl that! Anyways, she's from Brilliant Alabama which is like 5 mins from my hometown! I just think that is such a coincidence.. and somehow it makes me feel a lil less insane for coming here! OTHER people do it too! ;-) Yay for that..

Anyways.. I'm headed home to grill out, sit by the lake, create some new memories with the fam, and enjoy the country for a bit! Gosh I miss it! Sure to be great times and I'm not even sure when I'll return!

*hugz*