I haven't posted since before I left from Columbus and for good reason. I've been VERY upset about my dog and haven't really felt up to any type of communication. Hence my lack of posts and returned calls. However, I am feeling a very tiny bit better. So here I am.
So I did manage to do the right thing and put Charlotte to sleep. The drive to my parents was horrible, the constant thinking about putting her down was horrible, the call to setup an appointment was horrible, sleeping next to her knowing what time her final hour would be was horrible, the drive to my sister's and then to the vet clinic was horrible, the final kiss goodbye was horrible, watching her leave my sight for good was horrible, the fight I had with myself for wanting to run in and save her was horrible, the sight of the box she was lying lifeless in throughout the ride home was horrible, the fact that it was raining and we couldn't bury her for three days was horrible, knowing that she was downstairs frozen while I was up in my bed was horrible, the thought of her buried in the back yard so far away from me is horrible, and finally .. the thought of spending the next hour, day, week, month, year and rest of my life without her is killing me. =( I keep replaying the whole thing in my head. I told my mother that I need to see a hypnotist. I can't sleep and I'm in depression. My mother will be out of town tomorrow b/c she is off to see a friend of hers so I'm house/pet sitting. Then on Wed. we are going to the doctor's office to talk about my inability to sleep. My nights are filled with endless tossing and turning which usually dies down at around 9 am.. when I finally manage to get a couple hrs of sleep. Hopefully we'll get it all ironed out and I'll get back on track soon.
So obviously I didn't go to the beach with Scott. I wanted to.. gosh, I could have really used the time away and of course I'd get to spend a lot of time with him.. but given the whole situation and the fact that I wanted to be here when Charlotte was buried .. I just couldn't go. I haven't heard from him so I don't know if he is upset or not. I really can't say that I'd blame him if he were. Not too many people can relate to my situation. I didn't want to put him through my depression.. and I KNOW I would have been crying hysterically the majority of the time.
Anyways, it IS true that things are a LITTLE better. I've managed to get some food in me and I told Venus that we would go to a movie tomorrow. You, me, and dupree.. if one person could cheer me up it would have to be Owen Wilson. Ok, maybe Ryan Reynolds too ;-) Ill probably just be getting to sleep during the first showing so we probably won't go until tomorrow evening. I'm sure we'll have a good time.
So I WILL be returning calls tomorrow .. Kristin and her bro Tony.. Matt.. Keith.. Sean F..Ivan to name a few. I don't have any cell service out here so I keep missing everyone's calls and txt msgs. I also don't have AIM on this computer so I haven't been signed on there either. Then my cell phone died and the only charger I have with me is in my car. I was too lazy to go out there to charge it enough to get everyone's #s.. sooo.. =D Be patient everyone.. y'all know I'm a slacker ;-)
I haven't really been doing much out here. I went furniture shopping with momma and diddy. Must be nice to just randomly feel like stopping by the furniture store and spend 4000 on random furniture that isn't necessary. I talked them out of the matress though.. I told them IF they were determined to buy a mattress that I was in the market for a new one. THEN I took them by the office chairs and pointed out which one of those I wanted. I tested about 10 and of course I liked the most expensive one... go figure! Then we went out to eat. Mmmm it was soooo tasty. And I brought Rhett some steak home.. which he loved. =) Other than that I've just been enjoying the fabulous food, scenery, and company. The lil kitten is SOOO adorable.. I'll be sure to get a pic of him on here. Momma is letting me name him. Afterall, I did name his daddy.. Armani =) I'll let everyone know what I decide!!
Anyways, I think that about sums everything up. I don't know when I'll be returning to Columbus. I get spoiled here with the parents so I'm thinkin I'll be here for a while longer!!
Talk to everyone soon... =)
So I did manage to do the right thing and put Charlotte to sleep. The drive to my parents was horrible, the constant thinking about putting her down was horrible, the call to setup an appointment was horrible, sleeping next to her knowing what time her final hour would be was horrible, the drive to my sister's and then to the vet clinic was horrible, the final kiss goodbye was horrible, watching her leave my sight for good was horrible, the fight I had with myself for wanting to run in and save her was horrible, the sight of the box she was lying lifeless in throughout the ride home was horrible, the fact that it was raining and we couldn't bury her for three days was horrible, knowing that she was downstairs frozen while I was up in my bed was horrible, the thought of her buried in the back yard so far away from me is horrible, and finally .. the thought of spending the next hour, day, week, month, year and rest of my life without her is killing me. =( I keep replaying the whole thing in my head. I told my mother that I need to see a hypnotist. I can't sleep and I'm in depression. My mother will be out of town tomorrow b/c she is off to see a friend of hers so I'm house/pet sitting. Then on Wed. we are going to the doctor's office to talk about my inability to sleep. My nights are filled with endless tossing and turning which usually dies down at around 9 am.. when I finally manage to get a couple hrs of sleep. Hopefully we'll get it all ironed out and I'll get back on track soon.
So obviously I didn't go to the beach with Scott. I wanted to.. gosh, I could have really used the time away and of course I'd get to spend a lot of time with him.. but given the whole situation and the fact that I wanted to be here when Charlotte was buried .. I just couldn't go. I haven't heard from him so I don't know if he is upset or not. I really can't say that I'd blame him if he were. Not too many people can relate to my situation. I didn't want to put him through my depression.. and I KNOW I would have been crying hysterically the majority of the time.
Anyways, it IS true that things are a LITTLE better. I've managed to get some food in me and I told Venus that we would go to a movie tomorrow. You, me, and dupree.. if one person could cheer me up it would have to be Owen Wilson. Ok, maybe Ryan Reynolds too ;-) Ill probably just be getting to sleep during the first showing so we probably won't go until tomorrow evening. I'm sure we'll have a good time.
So I WILL be returning calls tomorrow .. Kristin and her bro Tony.. Matt.. Keith.. Sean F..Ivan to name a few. I don't have any cell service out here so I keep missing everyone's calls and txt msgs. I also don't have AIM on this computer so I haven't been signed on there either. Then my cell phone died and the only charger I have with me is in my car. I was too lazy to go out there to charge it enough to get everyone's #s.. sooo.. =D Be patient everyone.. y'all know I'm a slacker ;-)
I haven't really been doing much out here. I went furniture shopping with momma and diddy. Must be nice to just randomly feel like stopping by the furniture store and spend 4000 on random furniture that isn't necessary. I talked them out of the matress though.. I told them IF they were determined to buy a mattress that I was in the market for a new one. THEN I took them by the office chairs and pointed out which one of those I wanted. I tested about 10 and of course I liked the most expensive one... go figure! Then we went out to eat. Mmmm it was soooo tasty. And I brought Rhett some steak home.. which he loved. =) Other than that I've just been enjoying the fabulous food, scenery, and company. The lil kitten is SOOO adorable.. I'll be sure to get a pic of him on here. Momma is letting me name him. Afterall, I did name his daddy.. Armani =) I'll let everyone know what I decide!!
Anyways, I think that about sums everything up. I don't know when I'll be returning to Columbus. I get spoiled here with the parents so I'm thinkin I'll be here for a while longer!!
Talk to everyone soon... =)
posted by ~~*Patty*~~ @ 9:35 PM
2 Comments:
At 7:49 PM,
Monkey said…
hey patty...i'm sorry that you had to put charlotte down. i had to do that a long time ago with my first dog when i was in first grade. i was an emotional rollar coaster too. but anywho, i hope you are doing ok and we should hang out sometime. i miss ya since i don't get to see you since kristin isn't here anymore and i don't have your cell number. anywho, i need to go and study, but i will talk to you soon i hope.
At 7:26 AM,
Kristin said…
Patty... I love you hun... you call me whne yoiu have time and energy to do it!!! i'll understand if it's not for a while :)
hope you get better soon, i hate hearing that you're depressed and sad all the time... if i where in ohio... i'de definatley pull an all junk food night watching gay guys making love in the mountains again ;)
take your time, and know that I LOVE YOU BUNCHES
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