Anticipation... ?

Ok, so Charlotte had a bad night lastnight. I layed down with her and watched her for, no kidding, 7 hours. She was breathing so deep and I could see her poor little heart beating like crazy. She pulled through though and now she seems to be ok. Not great or good.. or well.. but ok. Her breathing has slowed down a little and she ate some chicken I cooked for her. I was suppose to go out to dinner tonight.. but I had to cancel. Being with her is more important to me than dinner with anyone in the world. It's weird to anticipate death. I know she'll die soon and Im ready to accept that.. it's just going to be soooooo hard on me. Shes been by my side for 18 years now and shes a major part of my daily routine. The medicine twice a day, meal time 4 times a day, the dog walks, bed time.. the readjustment is going to be difficult.

So tomorrow is the big dinner with Shaun and his family for his law graduation. He wants to come visit tonight to "see charlotte" but I'm positive he doesn't care THAT much. He cares that I'm upset about it but shes my dog so no one really gets it... especially shaun. Regardless, it is a very kind thought. The dinner with him and his family will be interesting I'm sure. I'm not certain if his Uncle Steve will be there. I hope he will.. he's just a barrel of laughs. I doubt I will see his father.. which I feel bad about. I'm under the impression that Shaun's mother and sister both do not want to see Shaun's dad.. and Shaun's dad doesn't want to be there if Shaun's Uncle Steve will be there.. so I dunno what will happen. I believe I'll go to dinner with Shaun's family tomorrow night ( - his dad ) and then Shaun will do dinner with just his dad after his hooding. I still have no idea what I'm going to get Shaun for his graduation. The kid has everything so I'm thinking I'll just go sentimental. I mean.. how many watches could I possibly buy him? ;-)

Anyways.. I may go to the tanning bed again tonight. It's addicting. I really don't want to leave charlotte but I'll only be gone about 25-30 mins. Idol comes on too.. so I gotta be here for that. Anyways.. I'm gonna go finish up my laundry. Oh.. I was sooooooo embarrassed. I went down to put my laundry in and someone had their clothes in the washer. So I was like.. "well, I REALLY need to do some laundry .. and they may not come back for awhile.. " so i just took their stuff out and put it on the dryer. OF COURSE the guy who owned the laundry walked in right when I was pulling his underwear out.. how humiliating. I quickly left and checked my mail until he left the laundry room. ugh... boxer-briefs though... got love a man who wears hybrids ;-) hah..